Category Archives: Compassion

The Power of Silence

“Obama is an African Muslim. The same people that sent Africans off to slavery in the U.S.A.

There has to be some reason for the destruction of the black community in America. There has to be a reason that black leaders (rappers) are telling black people to destroy their own communities and families. 

I don’t think black Americans will be shipped back to Africa, but I do think that African America is being led down the path to destruction. There is absolutely no resistance from within the community. 

Biggest mistake black people ever made was accepting third world status, i.e. “African American”. African America is a goddamn cesspool. You live in America, you’re a fucking American. This African America shit needs to GTFO!”

- Black Guy

This was a comment of mine from several years ago.  With a frothy cocktail of frustration and perpetual angst, the synergy from this unfortunate mental conditioning was unnerving, rendering my mind emotionally unpredictable.  No doubt, I was responding to petty inflammatory bantering  from an obscure online forum, one of many  first world banes.  Most times, it is utterly futile to try and respond by elaborating with intricate  ideals and thought-provoking rhetoric.  The bottom line is that we try to stab a wound into the annoying adolescent creatures who dare speak within our respective domains, without thinking of what harm it does to us.

It really is incredible how our minds, and what we believe, are infinitely malleable if we don’t even know who we are.  I read my comment from years ago, and realize that I didn’t quite have all the pieces of the puzzle as I do today.  This was before I knew why “African America [appears to be] a goddamn cesspool.”  I was bleeding from my ears with patriotism for the land of the free, and fed up with the labels of society pegging me in specific stereotypes and constructs relating to the color of my skin.  Emotionally, it was akin to feeling like an animal trapped in a cage – denied affection, denied attention, denied a voice, denied from the truth.  My consciousness was in a daze because I was too busy searching for the truth in everyone and everything other than myself.

The more you share you personal truths with the world, the more ferocious the world tries to put you and your silly thoughts down – just like a rabid animal.  You hear of the “sheep” analogy time and time again.  However, you don’t ever truly comprehend how powerful that idea is until you go against the system.  All the characters and personas of your life that you thought were standing side by side with you, will viciously turn against you, kicking you out of the powwow.  In the blink of an eye, you are all alone, kicked out of the tribe and left for dead.  All of this because I don’t know my place?

Anger, frustration, destructive semantics – it’s as if I’m not allowed to use any of these tools, ever!  Why, when other people, who are more sheep than wolf, apply these fear tactics, they are welcomed and always encouraged, never discouraged?  While, when I release angst, I am instantly removed and belittled like the common cold.  The common colds of the world are removed instantly, but the cancers that fester are allowed to exist, grow, consume.  I’m treated as if I’m just the common cold, but I understand completely that I’m an antibody.

In retrospect – on the job, in institutions like marriage, school, even plastic friendships – these are components of our society.  When we plug ourselves into the matrix, we must act and behave with an extremely specific demeanor.  This… this goes against everything I believe in and cherish.  We are to be authentic to ourselves, and our emotions.  However, time and time again, I would fail to realize that sometimes being the bigger man, and standing up for what you believe works in tandem with remaining silent.  Time and time again, my pride forebodes silence as a form of weakness.  That is yet another construct of society that we must break out of – silence can be your greatest forte.

Almost all the pain and misery I have endured all my life was due to being vocal. But, I’ve had life experiences where SILENCE was the cause of my greatest pains, and my greatest miseries. There really isn’t a sure fire rule of thumb to follow. This is most frustrating. So how do we know if we should be adamantly vocal, or adamantly silent? ALWAYS BE AUTHENTIC. Authenticity can never be achieved if you are walking the path of fear, that’s the secret. Always remember that.

So here I am, trying to figure out what the hell this ignoramus of a dude is saying, and who the hell this moron is… saying shallow rhetoric, blaming African Muslims for allowing thousands of Africans to succumb to slavery, and I realized that this idiot was me. I was deathly afraid of society’s illogical labeling, but even more afraid of myself for not conforming, ever. I didn’t realize that succumbing to fear was conforming. It’s time to walk the path of love kiddos! After-all, it’s the only way you will ever figure out who the hell you are.

Be Aware of the Subliminal

Look at that Angry Black Woman.  The message is subliminal, but definitely not subtle.  The only ethnic minority happens to be a black woman – she could even be hispanic with those brown highlights and that facial structure.  Needless to say, here’s an advertisement with the header: “WHO TAUGHT YOU ABOUT RESPECT?”  The human being with the most melanin just happens to be ferocious in her demeanor, while the others are calm, collected, passive, sure of themselves, confident, and appear to be really nice people – oh, and they just happen to have the least amount of melanin in their bodies.  There is nothing subliminal about that at all right?  Wrong!  Holy..

South Park’s Angry Black Woman Character

It is absolutely everywhere.  Hell, even when I was in my preteen years there was Susie on the Rugrats, she didn’t take crap from Angelica!  Seriously, what is this about?  Why does it feel like society is painting this picture of what it means to be a black woman, and that painting consistently uses the colors: hate, jealousy, anger, loudness, belligerent, it goes on!  I’m not even going to talk about the subliminal messages we are fed about white women (well, maybe a little).  The saddest thing I have seen concerning how small black women are made to feel, how they are conditioned to have a small dog syndrome (think Chihuahua .. bark, bark bark!!), well two scenarios:

My first girlfriend in middle school.  I made her upset in between the constant submissive adoration I gave her, and she turned it into a mass spectacle in front of everyone during recess.  I mean, yelling, screaming, bringing in all of her friends for moral support, the whole nine!  What did I do to make her upset?  I was fed up with carrying her damn books everywhere, and how selfish she was.  She was undeserving of the compassion I bestowed to her, so one day I called her …the B word.  ”Stop acting like a bitch!”  She even slapped me in front of everyone — yea, it was very traumatic for me, yea I developed an acute form of Posttraumatic stress disorder. Sincerely screwing up future relationships with black women [unknowingly] well into my 20s.  That is the quintessential definition of Angry Black Woman.  A decade later, I’ve forgiven her and forgave myself, and I believe there’s no hard feelings.  Of course I would have given her the world, but I gave her the word – it was her lose.  In my experience, the black woman is getting conditioned to cause chivalry in black men to decay.  It’s a sad scenario.  This conditioning goes both ways: whites usually expect aNGRy explosions in both “Angry Black Women” and “Angry Black Men,” and are conditioned to encourage it as a form of entertainment.  That’s why the advertising on drudgereport subliminally showcases an angry black woman, hilarity will always ensue. 

The second scenario: exiting the parking garage of my previous job, there was a black woman with blonde hair working the register.  Subliminally, young black girls and boys are led to believe white features are more attractive.  There’s nothing malicious about the statistics: most actors on TV, most children shows, most video games, mostly everything feature a white hero or heroine.  It just is.  As of 2010, Blacks only make up 12% of America’s population (down from 14% in 2000).  Anyway, my point?  With societal conditioning or not, it makes sense that the minority of a nation would idolize the majority.  It’s a sad reality that we all must own up to as we get older, while forgiving our younger selves for their diluted self-worth.  This woman, and most black women, are afraid to wear braids.. afraid to wear afros!  The most beautiful, ethnically logical hairstyles are becoming outlawed… literally!! (SEE Ohio School Bans Braids)  And of course, we’ve all heard the stories of young black girls preferring the white dolls over the black dolls.


So I say this with a grain of salt, and the holiest of water:  be aware of the subliminal,  not beware of the subliminal.  It’s so ingrained within our culture and society that there is absolutely no way to protect yourself from it!  It’s there folks.  Everyday you’re alive, strive to rise above the expectations your society projects onto you.  We are all capable of being our own person, with our own dreams.  There is no such thing as acting too white, or too black, or being an angry black man or woman – just be you.  But, be aware of the subliminal.

Take Control of Your Mind

An integral indulgence of the human experience is using your damn mind every once in a while.  With all the precious time we have on Earth, it is crucial that we think about aspects of life that doesn’t involve your job, your possessions, your bills, your patriotism, your race, your fears, or your society.  There is more to life!  All that other BS is just fluff.  It’s like you’re eating a pie with more crust than filling.  Sure that crusty pie might taste exceptional, but wouldn’t you want something more fulfilling? 

Use your mind to create.  Even something as simple as reading a novel – create a universe with your mind!  Your mind is so powerful.  Why waste it on mocking others, or beaming thoughts of jealousy to those you deem unworthy?  Why even waste those potent neurons of yours on anything negative?  There’s no need to lean in that direction.  Hell, if our minds can paint entire universes of empirical emotions from reading, from dreaming, from empathizing with fellow brethren, what do you think happens when we paint with the color of fear?  Hell does exist…if we want it to.  It really is quite easy to let fear and self-loathing get the better of you.  It will manifest into something so outrageous that it will literally destroy your life, turning you into a black hole that sucks the life away from all things around you.


Take control of you mind.  Stop digesting the literal and start investing in the abstract.  Create, read, learn, grow, explore, love, build  — instead of — destroying, mocking, watching, decaying, hating, fearing. I promise you that life will become that satiate box of chocolates that we all know it should be.

Never a Dull Moment

Life… amazing ain’t it? I’m currently experiencing rock bottom for the specific purpose of loving myself again.  I’m broke – unable to afford any of my previous vices, unable to socialize with the “vampirical” socialites of my life.  Thankfully I have enough creative pizzazz to come up with activities that have nullified the void in my soul, even allowing it to grow and shine!  It is important that the people in your life nurtures your soul, as opposed to draining it dry!

I’m used to living in a never-ending downward spiral.  Never realizing how fortunate

things were when the going was anything but rock bottom.  However, for the first time in eons, I can finally say that it’s spiraling up – skyward bound, hopefully with endless momentum.  There’s never a dull moment.  Today, join me.  Let’s embrace this loving flow of energy together, channel it into something constructive.

Are you a moth or a lightbulb?

Have you hit rock bottom?  Feeling lost and confused?  Congratulations!  So do the 7,999,999,999 people who are scattered across the globe.  8 billion people… most of you cannot even fathom how big of a number that is.  At some point life is going to slap you in the face and call you its subservient bitch.  When it happens, you have a choice: sink or swim.  Unless you’re one of the millions of starving and compassion-deprived children that were unfairly born in a life of poverty, you will always have this option.

The most beautiful thing about being human is enjoying the pleasantries of free-will.  Even when society is bombarding you with a culture that devalues and belittles, and every clique that has adopted you kicks you out of the club, as long as you have a soul and you’re happy, you’ll always get an opportunity to bounce back.  Always. Finding that silver lining can sometimes be frighteningly impossible, but it is always there!

We are all capable of completing our own personal journeys alone.  There’s no need to force others to nurture you.  Once you start letting your own light shine, it’s only natural that the warmth from your lightbulb will attract the moths.

Are you a moth or a lightbulb?

Life After Nine Eleven

Learn to forgive. 


Step #1 – When you are bullied, it is important that you forgive your bully.

If you’re a Christian that means pray for them.  If not, that means feel empathy for your bully:  put yourself in their shoes, try to figure out their agenda, and learn how to forgive.  This is crucial.  Otherwise, you will become the very thing you despise.

Whoever let 9/11 slide through the cracks will have to to answer to their God.  Listen to Nine Inch Nails “Head Like a Hold” a few times:

head like a hole
black as your soul
I’d rather die than give you control

bow down before the one you serve
you’re going to get what you deserve

Karma is a very powerful thing.  It’s been over ten years since 9/11 without any of the arrests we’d like to occur.  Where is the justice? Where is human righteousness?  Don’t worry, it hasn’t gone anywhere.  But trust this system of Karma, and realize that their souls are black.  So black that those responsible for 9 1 1 have black holes for souls.  Don’t let them control you, stop feeding them your life energy.  Do not OCD over anything that’s futile.   In the end, those responsible will get what they deserve.  If you send out negative thoughts and wallow in misery, that is EXACTLY what they want you to do.  When you’re being bullied, it is not your responsibility to help the bully see the light.  Your only responsibility is maintaining your own inner peace.  Having an inner peace, and becoming an obelisk of light is a WMD that we cannot afford to forget about.

Music video by Nine Inch Nails performing Head Like A Hole. (C) 1989 Interscope Records

Step #2 - Move on, live your life to serve others.

For God’s sake, do something!  Get passionate about something.  If that means doing whatever you can to wake up the masses, great!  However, you’re not going to get very far spiritually if you are unable to build something with your bare hands.  Humans were built to become a walking talking microcosm of The Infinite Creator, God, Jehovah, whatever you call it.  If we are not concocting as the loving carpenters we innately are, we are no longer human (See The Matrix).  Congratulations, you’ve just given your soul away if you are obsessed with Miley Cyrus, football, etc.  I’m not saying denounce all of it, just saying do not waste your precious time!  We only have so much time on this Earth, what have you contributed to humanity besides waste and decay?  Remember, when you buy that latest iPhone, that’s not helping anyone!


Step #3 - Be Authentic.

Whatever you do in life, follow your intuition and follow your personal belief system.  Unplug from society for a while.  Figure out who the hell you are when you’re not constantly swimming in a sea of consumerism.  Hell, I’ve been zombified for too long! After so long, you forget who you are… who you were when you were a child.  Maintain that childlike innocence!  It is so important to be able to smile, laugh, dance and play.  No, I’m not saying play Grand Theft Auto V (though, I’d probably play that if I had a console — just being authentic), I’m really saying it is important to not only let the mind play, but also the spirit.  NO!  It is not good for your spirit to drive around in a video game and kill digital manifestations of people for hours and hours.  NO!  It is not good for your spirit to get drunk and high everyday.  What is good for the spirit is saying “No!” to all the available methods of instant self-gratification.  It doesn’t last very long, it’s fake!  Be authentic and listen to your inner consciousness — surprise!  That’s the spirit yelling at you, telling you in detail how to recharge your spiritual batteries.  If you’re stoned, drunk, obsessed over insignificance, you will become your greatest enemy.